I arrived in dusty, chaotic, hectic Delhi last weekend to start a month in the Random House Delhi Office and in the last week these are the top ‘unspoken’ tips I’ve learnt slowly with trial and A LOT of error:
 
· Men don’t ever give directions, ever, as a matter of principle

· Trying to bicycle won’t get you anywhere and driving is worse ... I spend a lot of time in cars with my eyes closed

· A nod of the head doesn’t mean ‘yes, I understand’ it really means ‘no, I have no idea what you’re talking about’

· Something close by can be up to 5 km away ...

· The Metro is brilliant, very safe and women have their own compartments – make sure you travel the right way though (I’ve failed at this three times)

· ‘N’ block market and ‘M’ block market are two separate markets (useful tip for anyone arriving for the first time) It took me nearly a day to work this out

· Coffee isn’t really the same in any way, shape or form

· If you think there’s a system there isn’t one

· Auto drivers pretend they can’t use their meters to drive you anywhere but actually they can! They won’t take you if you aren’t going in the direction they want to travel in

· Cows are loved everywhere, I mean seriously loved

· There are an incredible number of festivals and a serious amount of fireworks, loud bangs in the night aren’t anything else

· Everyone uses Time Out Delhi weekly magazine to find out what’s on and what to do so buy a copy as soon as you arrive!

· Never ever try to cross a road, especially a motorway like I have

· Always bargain hard on EVERYTHING and take ear plugs

· Traffic signals don’t really function and aren’t used

· Dark alleyways are a no go obviously

· Groceries are difficult to buy, I never have any idea what most of the things are ... and everything is slightly curried (even the brownies in the Random House canteen)

· If you’re coming to India soon don’t book with Kingfisher, they’re about to go bust (slightly worried about my internal flights but HEY HO)

 
Most IMPORTANTLY nothing ever really works first time but you can always find someone to help fix it. The IT guy in the office and I have become close friends as a consequence, well I like to think we have anyway.
 
If you have any unspoken Delhi tips contact the slightly lost Publicist in Delhi by posting your comments here! The most useful tips will be held in the highest regard and I’ll give a prize when I’m back in our London Office on 2nd January for the tip / hidden gem that I found most useful so please comment by 25th November and I’ll become the savvy Publicist in Delhi who knows everything there is to know (well, that’s the aim anyway).
 
Next week: bookshops, agent meetings, the Random House office, Hay Festival in Kerala and fun launches at the Taj.
 
Clara Womersley
Publicity Manager, Jonathan Cape and The Bodley Head